Here are some comments.
- "Meal time can be scary for a child"--show me a nicely shot, emotional picture of a little kid
not cooperating with his parents at lunch time.
-Instead of listing your "concepts explored," put a label next to each sketch. Hand-write the labels so it looks like the labels were on the sketch page.
-"Prototypes were made..." --show me picture(s) of someone using chopsticks and trying to take out a piece of sushi. You say several types of slots were tested. You could take a picture of testing each slot, then whichever one you chose to move forward with, you make that picture bigger.
-The fact that you made these mockups is good
- Bring your pictures into Photoshop, tweak the curves/levels/contrast. They look dull right now.
-I just noticed your page aspect ratio is 4:3. You should be using 16:9 (widescreen). Everyone is going to be viewing this on a modern computer.
-"Slanted top was decided on"--highlight this in your testing pictures (mentioned above). All you need is a callout saying "angled toward user"
-"Monsters were decided on"--Create a simple inspiration board with 3-4 images of popular monster characters. On the next page show the characters you designed. If you have hand sketches of your characters, those might be a nice addition.
-The characters themselves are cute and fun! Nice work there.
- Your final renderings don't really help tell the story. One could show a hand with chopsticks pulling out food/dipping into sauce. Another rendering could simply show the device placed on a kitchen table--something more emotional than the default Keyshot background.
- What inspired this piece? Right now it just looks like you played around in CAD until you came up with something you liked. Show me why you designed it this way.
- I would get rid of the text altogether on this one. Based on the images alone, I can see your process.
- Again, pictures could use some Photoshop tweaking.
- The last image, with the fruit, really helps tell the story here. It's the type of image I'd want to see for Sushi Monsters. It gives context to the product.
-This could be a good VBL exercise, but again, there's hardly any process shown here. Needs user research, inspiration, sketches, etc.
Hug Phone Case
-All you need to say is "power banks can be damaged by dropping from as little as chest height." Your picture with the burn hole in the pants gets the point across.
Holly Funko, Android, and Urban Table: group these into one "CAD practice" project.
Good luck with everything!