work faux paus missing the bbq

does missing the company bbq a couple of times in a row a fatal paus? what are some others, not going to happy hour? not breaking away from solidworks to kibitz? not gooing over baby pics? is this stuff as important as being a good with markers?

Probably more important than being good with markers…not that it should be that way, but in my experience, bonding with those around you and being part of the team is often more important than splitting hairs over who has the better marker renderings…or Cintiq renderings or whatever.

When it comes time to downsize, who will stay and who will go? The talented guy who gets along with everyone or the super talented guy that doesn’t seem to be a good fit?

Again, not condoning it, but it is something to think about…

“Faux Pas” -

You should go to the company bbq’s and picnics. If you work at a small company, you will be missed. If you work at a mid-to-large company, your boss and his or her boss will wonder where you are. Their peers will ask them “where are your people”, making them look stupid.

Nobody really wants to go, including the boss and their bosses, but if you don’t go you are saying “I’m too good for this” or “I’m too busy for this”.

Happy hour is another story - maybe once in a while - it all depends on who is organizing it.

At least play on the company softball team.

There is a thin line about enough socialization and too much. If the secretary is a jabber jaws, than try to avoid getting in long drawn out conversations because you don’t want people thinking that you are too busy talking to work. Grab a few people you work with an invite them to lunch at some awesome place or just shoot the S*%$ for a few minutes about the project.

I worked at a large company for five years ( 2 years interning while in school and three years full time after graduation) and in those five years I never attended the company Christmas Party. One year my boss even strongly hinted that it was a bummer that I wasn’t going - but I was a little too headstrong to give in, and a little too naive to see how it may actually be sending a bad signal.

I never felt that it had any negative consequences for me, but that could very well have been due to my boss shielding me from them (and he was the kind of guy who would totally throw himself under the bus before letting his team catch any heat). In retrospect, it wouldn’t have killed me to just make an appearance for an hour or two and would only serve to help reassure management that in fact you are a “team player”.

yeah sounds like it gets all tribal, in the end it’s all about the social stuff huh? sometimes i am concentrating so much and want to put out work that is accurate and covers everything (especially eng. / spec. pkg.s) i have trouble switching gears to social time.

Like Woody Allen says, “80% of success is showing up”. Who said you have to be the life of the party. Show up, eat your sloppy joe, drink a beer, go home. Better than not going.

It never hurts to make an appearance. Find out what level is fun for you. We have a ton of social events here, I don’t feel obligated to go to all of them, but I love to just pop into a few… but if your company only has one or two social events, chances are at least a couple of people worked hard to make it happen, maybe even pulled some strings to get some budget. Go, have a beer and hotdog and thank your boss for paying.