Teaser Needs some help!

What do you think of this teaser? It needs some revamping, but I need some fresh eyes!



and these…



Overall man, nice projects. First thing that pops to my head is needing some work on typography/graphic design. I would suggest using a smaller type for your text body and captions. Typical typface size is 7-9 for print. Also avoid doing this with your paragraphs:

asdf sadf kjdsf asdfweriu
asddf a asdfwerd asdfe a wer
wifje

Avoid having one or two words at the end of the paragraph. For your logos that you have in your bottom right (freescale, vtech, etc) I would make sure these logos are all the same on each page and in the same location. I am also wondering why only the last two projects have descriptions. I would also put “designed around…processor” on your freescale page in your description.

Cover page - Take out the gradient. Make “for more work…coroflot.com/carldesign” smaller and place at the bottom. Or even take it out, obviously you got them this far to send them a teaser, so why are you sending them elsewhere to look at it? Maybe place your website on your resume instead. Use “portfolio samples” instead of “samples highlights”? It makes it sound as if these are highlights from your samples. What kind of designer are you? Industrial? Graphic? Stage set? Identify who are you are, don’t try to make yourself sound too generic, even if you can do many types of design. Most companies are looking for people with specialties and if you can do more, it’s considered a bonus.

Mint Family capture product - Do you have a CAD rendering of it? I also had no idea what it was, at first I thought it was a salt/pepper shaker, and then I thought it was some sort of picture taking device because it says “family capture” but then I finally realized it was a tape dispenser.

Rapid Deployment Tent - Add some captions to your pics. Add a description, I have no idea what makes this a rapid deployment tent. Maybe if i was in the tent business I might know by looking at the pictures, but if you’re sending this to any other company I’m just sitting here saying “WTF?” Also, looking at the picture of the tent and the people standing in front of it, is that really the scale??? Is this for camping?? It looks way too heavy to go backpacking with.

Freescale - “imagine coming home…” quote, make it smaller. Use some type hierarchy to distinguish between the story and the description. Maybe instead of using your made up story, why can’t you find a real quote about someone expressing a need for your device? How is this device any different than the current products out in the market? (ie. mac air, sony pocketbooks, etc)

vtech - I had no idea this was a gaming device for children. I thought it was some sort of industrial electronic device. I think you should redesign this one a little. Make it colorful! It might be a good idea to show more for this one; how about a few pictures of the actual UI?

Resume - Take out the gradient please. Methodologies and Familiar with should be lined up. The columns need more space between. Use typeface hierarchy to distinguish titles and descriptions. Under skills take out “In my studies…” yes, we know you gained these skills in your studies. I wouldn’t even break these up into section, just list everything under skills. Skills are skills.

OK, that’s it, email me if you have more questions.

Don’t be afraid to use more than one page for your projects! I would suggest using two for the vtech one and even the rapid deployment tent.