Songs about Designers

They’re finally writing songs about designers.

Witty lyrics.

Designer Boyfriend

I’ll slap your back if you slap mine.
We’ll stand up straight and we won’t get tired.
We kiss like strangers, but !@#$ like flies.
In my book of touch, that’s three high-fives.
Ain’t too tender. Ain’t going head over heels.
Be with me and smile bright.
We’ll be the only stars on the floor tonight.
We both love shopping and contour lines,
and agree Burt Morris should resign.
I don’t care who you screw
If you just be straight, I’ll stay with you.
Won’t it be great to live forever this way.

Designer boyfriend: you draw the lines in some strange a s s places.
Designed her boyfriend: set with the wrong typefaces.

We slept in late just like we bloomed.
We wrote up tired, and I questioned you:
You don’t rest still. You toss and turn.
In your heart of hearts, what gender burns?
Ain’t it funny, how we think lines are straight?
I peed that day after your shower.
Boy, it sure did smell like flowers.
On the steamed up mirror next to the clock,
I saw you had written, I heart c o c k.
I guess that answers who you screw,
If you just be straight I’d stay with you.
Won’t it be quaint to live forever this way.


I found your secret stash of gay p o r n and
I thought to myself, ”I’m so forlorn.
Rebecca, you should have listened when Grandaddy warned you,
It’s a land of fruit and nuts, this sate of California.“

Bumped into you at the day spa,
but I’ve found myself a better bra:
a better guy to hold my breasts
when I’m at work, he just rests.
Ain’t no longer finding my underwear gone.
Caught the bus down at the corner
got off by the bay where the boys are hornier.
I don’t care if you’re a disco star. I’m never going back to the Boy Bar.
Your color composition might be best in the Mission,
But I don’t like the way your S E X is positioned.


Put your prisma colors back in their pencil case.