A little from column A, a little from column B.
- The video seems unrelated, and along with the picture of the 4 ladies a bit offensive in tone.
-The amount of text seems wrong to me, you start with a decent brief and then go on and on about describing the problem.
This is how much text you are using and we are not even into the concept:
Breast pumping is always an inconvenience. Nobody loves to do it, and no product is going to change that. But it is a sacrifice that a lot of mothers ultimately feel it is worth doing. Is it possible to REMIND MOTHERS THAT THEY ARE DOING SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL and motivate them when times are hard?
‘It makes me realize how deeply important my child is to me and how I would do anything in this world to give him the best. In some ways, its like a handicap. If i wait too long to pump, it hurts. It is also time consuming. But ultimately it is worth it.’
Mother from a survey (on her feelings during pumping)
Mothers have to HOLD THE PUMP the whole session. Not every mother is the same, some want to have their hands free to do other stuff. And others just want to focus and relax when they are pumping. Either way it is an annoyance, since you have to hold it against your breast for around 20 to 30 minutes. Is is possible to design a solution that can be used hands-free?
‘You have to hold it constantly. This is unpleasant because it takes a long time. Sometimes you also cannot avoid spillage. Also it disables me to do things that requires two hands.’
Mother from a survey (on holding the breast pump)
Current breast pumps forces mothers into a certain position. Mothers have to sit in a SPECIFIC ANGLE to prevent milk from leaking. The milk needs to travel horizontally because of the configuration of the current breast pumps. Is it possible to play with the configuration to solve this?
‘A real big problem is the angle of the hornet. You have to lean forward or otherwise the milk will flow out. This can be very uncomfortable. Especially when you have just given birth.’
Lactation expert during an interview (on ergonomics)
CURRENT SOLUTIONS FEEL OUT OF TOUCH
Current solutions for hands-free pumping feel out of touch on a mothers body, because they are designed as an afterthought. This can enhance the so called ‘cow feeling’. Is it possible to design a product that feels it BELONGS ON A WOMEN’S BODY in a more harmonious way?
‘Yes, we have some solutions. But they do not get sold very often. Mothers told me that it makes you feel like a cow.’
Shop assistant during an interview (on hands-free pumping)
-The traffic you are getting might be from search engine crawlers (they like a lot of text), so yay traffic, but at the expense of clarity and pissing off humans.
-The quality of the text is (sorry) horrible “BEAUTIFUL SACRIFICE” “REMIND MOTHERS THAT THEY ARE DOING SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL”,“HOLD THE PUMP”.
After all this rambling and yelling marketing nonsense then you get into the product and fail to explain it clearly, what is the specific thing it solves ? " the angle, appearance" what value it adds “the bags”, how is it used (It is not clear ). You already wasted your emphasis points and my time on describing the problem.
So basically reduce the clutter/mumbo jumbo and flip the presentation : Product, Problem, Solution, Process and then go crazy if you must with videos,testimonials and what not for the google bot, better graphics wouldn’t hurt either.