Jonathan Ive Myths thread

So when do we start the Jonny Ive meme a la Chuck Norris?

“Everything Jonathan Ive touches turns to Brushed Aluminum” and so on and so forth…

Jonny Ive once fit a square peg into a round hole. The iPod sold millions.

Jonny Ive uses his monstrous Apple salary to keep Dieter Rams in cryogenic storage, thawing him out only twice a year, usually on a Wednesday.

That’s gold Jerry, gold I tell ya.

Jonny Ive can mill an aluminium block with his fingertips to a tolerance of +/- 0.00000000001".

Jonny Ive can say the word “alumin-ee-umm” to a roomful of union-dues-paying American mechanical engineers and get away with it.

Jonny Ive uses Time Machine to roll back history and create new production processes for iPhones that didn’t even exist five seconds ago.

When Jonny Ive gets an idea, there is this ‘BONNNNGGG’ sound, that the Apple sound designers capture for use in OSX.

Jonny Ive only wears gray t-shirts made from 100% organic, recycled and unbleached FoxConn factory workers.

Jonny Ive poops in Pantone colors.

Jonny Ive invented the fillet.

On the 7th day, Jonny Ive created God.

I think you mean iGod.

I heard a rumor his **** doesn’t stink. :laughing:

These have me rolling! May we all be so famous for being a success that someday people make jokes this good about us.

Jonny Ive has a tattoo in the shape of a black T-Shirt that covers his whole chest, so when he showers, he is still Jonny Ive.

When Jonny Ive looks at a block of aluminum, it fillets itself out of fear.

Jonathan Ive’s iPhone turns white in the presence of Orcs.

Split this off in Off Topic so we can keep rolling!

I’d change the title from “myths” to “Facts”.

Just sayin’.