I need a mentor - well not really

I need a mentor - well not really. I’m an advertising student looking for some useful feedback from professionals like yourselves. Head over to my site, http://www.untitled23.com, look at my work, and feel free to give me some feedback. Thanks.

Well I don’t know if I can be your mentor, but I can certainly give you some advice on you portfolio. :smiley: Just joking. If you need a mentor just let us know and we will be glad to help you out.

First I want to start by saying it looks like you have some pretty good skills in the graphics and advertising dept. Your ads are pretty clever and for a student you have pretty decent PS skills.

Now for the critique…Your homepage kind of confuses me. I don’t really get the “See, Feel, Read” part of it. I kept wanting to click on the other titles at the bottom that were "Art Direction, Product design, and Graphic design. Another aspect I did not like about this was that once I was in a project I had no way to move on to the next without clicking back or clicking on the See title again. This was a bit annoying. Because of that it all seemed a bit clunky to me. Also it was a bit hard for me to figure out what your ads were for. What product, service, etc… The only ones that I really got were the Adobe and Twitter and although I like it the ads did not seem to fit the Adobe brand. There was nothing really in there that brought me back to the brand identity. I also have to say that although I think your ads are quite clever, I can tell that most have been Photoshoped and some elements seem a bit weird.

On the other hand the Twist ads especially the first one and the Lotto ads I thought were great. I do not really know what the product is for the twist and that is a bit of an issue, but the layout is nice and simple and great and the Lotto ones are hilarious.

I would also like to see some background work on these. I know it is a bit different than the ID world, but there has to be some sketches behind this. If there is not then I would encourage you to start doing some. Trust me, I am a package designer and I deal with a great deal of graphics, but sense I have a background in ID I sketch out every graphic before I do it. Even if it is a doodle. I have sold more ideas this way because I can put numerous designs in front of someone quickly as apposed to doing it on the computer, which takes much more time.

I also wanted to ask what was up with the photography link. That took me way off guard. That is not needed. If this is supposed to be a design website let it be just that. Don’t try and mix other stuff in with it.

I think aside from a few issues you have some pretty decent work. You certainly know how to write an ad and that is a very important thing and you have the skills to put them together as well. Keep it up and keep posting. The more you post the better you will get.

Thank you so much for your comments. I really appreciate it.

It’s about time I got back into posting on here…

My apologies PackageID for being MIA
I have been super busy… I promise those thread ideas are coming.
Now sthunt, your work.
I will be Mr Nasty Bastard here, as just gushing about your work probably won’t help you.

Specifically your work and not your website…

I understand you are trying to elevate what is typically product branding resigned to flashy logo’s and big star call out’s but for me I don’t think it captures the essence of the product you’re selling (Dishwashing liquid/powder right ?). Why do dishes hate to be cleaned ? Why would a glass of red wine throw itself off a table rather than be cleaned ?
That’s what I can’t get my head around.

I think this is dead in the water, it’s a nice idea but the negative connotations that a consumer has when they first look at this kills the excitement of potentially actually winning the Lottery. It needs to draw a person in and make them feel like they have a chance and their dreams and ambitions can be fulfilled. Personally I think you should spin it the other way and indicate mild surprises in life or ironic surprises that people feel and illustrate how much better that shock would be if they won the lottery. Maybe a picture of a tax rebate of $10 or a letter from the bank saying they over charged you and they are sending you some money back… people always like unexpected winfalls like that even if they are small. So attaching that small joy to winning such a vast sum would make people understand have amazing it would be.

Looks like you’re trying to market a pro tool to a consumer market. The skills involved in doing some of that work is not something everyone can do and won’t even come close to. Maybe tone it down a bit… taking out an annoying work coleague from a photo or something would be more achievable

yeah, good. The Brad Pitt one doesn’t work for me, why his mail box if he’s telling YOU everything ?

Don’t get what this is at all

The industrial design pieces need some sort of explanation as to why and what.

Done. Sorry if I’m way off, just my thoughts.

Loafer…No worries. Great to see you back!!