I have a confession. I’ve been in a rut. Hopelessly stuck in that space between owning a relatively successful business and endlessly wanting more from my life but not having the energy, motivation, or even the knowledge to do anything about it. For that matter, I can’t even define the “more” I want from life. I know I just want it.
Many of you who have been around these board may have noticed. I haven’t really posted for close to 6 months. I’ve slowly relinquished attention and control of the 1HDC to the point that I was called out on it by the Core77 admin. I own my rut. Some days I even revelled in it. Wore it like a badge. But, ultimately, I own the fact that it is my responsibilty to do something about it, not just complain and whine.
“I’m just getting older and jaded”, I would say to myself.
Other days it was, “I work my ass off and I have naught to show for it”. More of a morose resignation of the monotony of life.
Then, suddenly, the phone rang. A long time collegue, and I would now qualify as good friend, called me up and admitted that they were there too. Misery loves company, I suppose. For several days, I kinda let it stew. It appealed to my inner demons that others like me had moments of frustration bordering on despair that they wanted something more from life, but hadn’t a clue how to achieve it.
Then, because of that phone call, the darkness changed. The rut didn’t feel quite so rutty. There was a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel that gave me a wee bit of hope that the end of the tunnel was approaching.
I don’t really have a reason to tell anyone this. It is cathartic to vent, and admit it to the world. I’ve never been shy about stuff like this…its how I operate. What I do know, is that by opening up to this fact in a forum like this, I know I will find others that have been, are in, or will be in this same spot at some point in their life. Again, misery loves company.
I hope this admition…this public display of being human will give me the kick in the ass that I need. But, I do hope you will see more of me around here again…annoying many of you with my point of view.