Any Feedback Would Be Just Great...

I’m a recent ID graduate looking at a number of different opportunities in ID. Any thoughts on my corefolio would be great. If you’ve got any hints on how to make low resolution corefolio teaser images look less blotchy, I’m all ears (though some would argue that if I haven’t constructed my own portfolio off of Core77 yet, I must not care enough).

Thanks,
mothy

www.coroflot.com/gaygaruda

Okay, it’s just my livelihood and the happiness of my wife and children that are riding on this.

Relax. I know its frustrating to post something & get no replies. But think about it: there really are a lot of people on here asking for help or advice. I think maybe most people are skipping over these requests believing that there are many other people willing to reply or who are perhaps more qualified to answer. Maybe everybody.

Anyway, my opinion
You have some brilliant and marketable ideas. You have a very valuable 2nd language. You have an impressive academic background.
But - your sketching looks pretty labored. Your presentation is haphazard. It may be because of the presentation that I don’t find the end product very compelling.

I’m sorry but I had to be honest. However, I also have some suggestions:
The thumbnail for the car seat is ghastly. The kid is cute, sure, but the skin color is…unhealthy. Thats not a confidence building color palette for new parents, its a more like a warning. :open_mouth:
The anti-static keychain is a great idea. The hand shaded sketches are not. They communicate to me that you are not A) in touch with current styles of ID presentation, B) skilled at marker rendering, C) skilled at computer rendering, D) fast. It looks as if you spent much more time on each sketch than with the final render. I think you should leave the pencil shading for fine art. It looks old fashioned in this context.
The leaf blower is much better in this respect, but here you have a different issue with the sketching. This time you have several different styles shown side by side. This leads me to believe that this was no exciting brainstorming session, but rather a long ponderous period of weeks. I think a potential employer would rather imagine the exciting part. If you could go back to this & redraw all of the concept sketches in one sitting, in a consistent style, it would help. The sketching styles were all consistent with the car seat & the keychain.
The camera is great. My kids would be all over that! The sketches are totally incoherent though. I see a bunch of blobs with knobbly bits all over them. Maybe you don’t have to show any process on this. Maybe just a good photo of the final, front & back, with a few bullets pointing out the features. The fact that all of these work samples are laid out the same way, and are referred to as “assignments”, doesn’t show me any investment or passion. Just that you completed the assignment. Divorced from the school project format, I might assume that you did this for a client or as a personal project. It would look more professional at least.
The wall maze is the best of the bunch as far as you presentation is concerned. However, the ideation pics are so small & cropped as to be irrelevant. Again, I think you could drop all of that & just leave the final render. Maybe a slight arrow or two to show that it rotates is enough. Your comments at the bottom are good on all of these, and are usually more concise than the text in the image. I don’t think it needs any process or research. Besides, that stuff is only inflating your file size.

As a side note, I have two small kids myself, and if I had designed the wall maze I would have been very certain to address the issue of germs. Its amazing that there are so many interactive, touchy-feely things for kids to get their little booger hooks into at the doctors office & even the hospital! Believe me, I admire the idea there, but no way in hell would my kids be touching that thing without a severe cleaning first. I have made that mistake with the giant aquarium in the cafeteria of the children’s hospital. I still don’t know who I’m more disappointed in, myself or the idiots who thought of putting it there.

Well I really hope I haven’t offended you. I think you are doing some good work, and I also think that sometimes it helps to have a fresh pair of eyes. As for your crazy artifacts on your images, heres a link to too much information:

Good Luck.

That’s the best feedback I’ve gotten in years. No wonder I’m unemployable! You really took the time to set me straight, and I really appreciate it. What a relief!

Thanks again,

mothy

Mothy…

You were kind enough to respond to my website, I will certainly try to help you out and respond to yours…

Unfortunately, I must COMPLETELY agree with Robin. I think you have GREAT ideas, and the final renderings look GREAT (especially the leaf blower and the kid camera).

However your sketches took you way too much time. I remember in art class in middle school or something, they asked us to sketch and shade our shoe in pencil. and the drawings turned out and looked REALLY good, but it’s just not the best style of sketching for ID. I think you would benefit from practicing just some basic line work and QUICK marker rendering.

The packaging design for the “SHOCKBLOCKER KEYCHAIN” is really nice. It shows that you have graphic/layout/packaging skills. I think you may want to utilize those skills for the overall layout of your projects. don’t take away from the work itself, but just layout the projects so the have a little more “pazzazz”, something to make me want to turn the page.

The other day, SUPERMARKET posted on my site that nothing I had done was “nothing cutting edge or pushing the limits or inovative” I guess if he were looking at your work, I think he may say the same.

…At least your not missing some dude’s head anywhere in your work.

GOOD LUCK MOTHY, I really hope you find a job somewhere in the NEW ENGLAND area so your wife doesn’t leave you. I hear GILLETTE is looking for somebody.

Thank you both. I have significant layout and quick sketch deficiencies (interesting: I just noticed that “i” did not come before “e” except after “c”…), and wish that layout was a focus in my last degree. It will require a lot of work.

Robin, if I lived in St. Louis I’d buy you a Concrete. Jgabry, I’m not sure what I could buy you in Michigan. Fish fry? Or Fried Buckeye?

Yours,
mothy

You’re welcome! …and thanks.

I had what you might call an insight into the initial lack of responses to your post.
While I was typing (and editing and re-editing) my critique of you work, a thought kept occurring to me: “This guy is going to hate me for this!” So this leads me to imagine that many people might be more forthcoming with their opinions except that they know how it feels to suffer criticism. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the maturity levels displayed on this board and I’m usually pleasantly surprised at the humility I’ve seen. All the same, it takes guts to invite such scrutiny from your peers. I have been wanting to post some of my work but have yet to do it. Maybe I have been hiding behind the strict confidentiality policy of my employer.
You have inspired me to put myself on display. I will do it. Now I just need to do some personal projects - I’m still not willing to risk my job.

Good Luck!

Robin pretty much summed it up I think. Try to have more fun with those sketches and it won’t look so labored. Good ideas, just work on the viz comm.