Hey Dudes & Dudettes,

I am in a very awkward position and I am wondering how I should cope. I can also use some advice, and willing to accept criticism. I am very down on myself guys. I am in my late twenties and married, and a IDr for 7 years. My boss hired an attractive assistant to sales and production and she sits next to me. We have been extremely cool with eachother, and had lots of fun. We have been alone at times either by leaving from work, getting lunch, going to the storage room and etc. We had chemistry and got alonge well for almost a year. She was single and she knew I was married but we never really talk about my wife. I believe we liked eachother but NEVER did anything. She was the closest person to me at my job. Things was going well untill she finally siad she had a boyfriend a couple of months ago.

I almost felt betrayed in a way because she had one for 5 months and never siad anything. She was very secretive about it. That made a bit sad and I confessed to her that I was surprised and that I had a crush on her. I think that was my mistake because things never was the same afterwards. She stopped wanting to hang around me, I felt she had gotten closer to other females at the job and may have told them about what I siad. I feel that she lost respect for me. It has been a few months after but things are better but she still will not hang around me. I also feel that I did wrong by my wife because I began to think about this girl allot months before. Now when I go to work at times I feel that people (other girls) know what I had siad to her. I had asked her if she told anyone and she lashed out at me once and I never spoke about it agian. Now it seems like we dont like eachother at times. I dont understand why she would not tell me that she had a boyfriend for so long and thats why I cannot trust her with what I told her. I believe she was flirting with me and I was game. Allthough my wife knows that I sit next to her and feels funny that I do, but I did not tell her this story.

Tell me your thoughts.

It is easy to say just get a new job. If I lived in Cali where most ID jobs are it would be different. Not in this case. At times I do feel that I am in her good graces but there are times that Im not. That is when my anxiety roars.

Truthfully, I work in a very small company and I must say that I contribute allot to the bottom line. However, I do feel that I am not respected like I should be and certainly this scenario does not help. There are senior people there that will always be that even if I work there for 20 years. Eventually I will leave. But I have a house morgage and a family to think about eventhough I have no kids yet. Saving is key at this stage.
-One thing that I want to add is that I have not cheated in my 4 year marriage and 7 years total with my wife.

I feel like such an idiot because whatever I felt before about this girl then does not harbor in me now. I feel double-crossed whenever I think she might have siad something and I know she probably have. I dont want to hate her if I dont have proof she told. If one day I do find out she told, I cant really blame her for something I siad to her. There are vultures in my office that love gossip and are wiating to unleash this information out in the open to see me crumble. But I wont if that happens. I cant believe how my world turned so quikly by just saying one sentence.