Hello all, Iâ€™ve uploaded a project book for one of my self initiated projects here
The concept is a brake lever that at the pull of a plunger can be turned into a deadmans brake for a babies pram. For example, if dad is descending a hill and trips, releasing the pram, the pramâ€™s deadmans brake lever applies the brakes, baby is safe.
Iâ€™m posting this in the hope that you fellaâ€™s are willing to critique it to some degree. Feel free to be as honest as necessary, like I mentioned in one of the other threads on this forum its coming up to a year of hunting for an internship so its obvious I need to improve, get better and hopefully you guys can give some input on what I need to work on. On a second note, this got duly beaten recently in fairly big competition by 20 pieces of decent good work but over 80 pieces of rather questionable projects so thereâ€™s good chance thereâ€™s something fundamentally wrong with the project that I just cannot see.
Anyways, thank you for looking, happy Easter
You have a nice lay out and real good exploratory sketching (if maybe a little to stiff).
It is just maybe a little “boring”. I wish I would see some human interaction with it. I was really missing sketch models and a final model.
In other words, it would be nice to see the brake in context being used.
An Illustration in Illustrator would already be enough.
I really like that you show all the variations, and I like the sketch look. Definitely show the human side, just clicking through, this could be a door knob. I’d start with a page up front visually showing the problem, maybe an illustrator schematic of a use scenario, also an image board showing other objects in this person’s life this will relate to, then end it with an image of the product photoshopped into context… this will round out the book.
hello, I really appreciate both your replies. Ive taken in and thought about your comments.
Bepster, I can appreciate the boring comment, in hindsight it does look a bit to formulaic, itâ€™s this juggling act of efficiently displaying the information and creating theatre/excitement thing I do have to work on.
I can also appreciate the stiff sketching comment, i find the stiffer and sharper they are the better they mentally work for me and my process. Maybe i need to produce some presentation sketch work, ill try it out on some of my current projects.
In hindsight, yourself and yo a clearly right about displaying the product in context. The data and all thatâ€™s there in my mind, half the work on the project was to aid interaction and ease and yet ive neglected to put in that information. This is the main reason for this thread, i know there must be things im doing wrong/not well that I donâ€™t fully realise. Hopefully through this thread ill realise a few of them and try put them right.
Do you guys have any instinctive thoughts/opinions about the form? My thoughts/reasoning for the form is that its a friendly, soft, feminine form masculinised with the black to hopefully form with a appearance that doesnâ€™t offend either sex. As industrial designers do you agree with that, are the areas of the form/design you instinctively feel unsuitable?
Anyway, thank you both, your replies were defiantly food for thought and what I want out of this thread. Ill get on making changes/amends as and when I get a bit tired of what Iâ€™m currently working on and post them up when they’re done.
This afternoon i bashed out the illustrations ive attached in the spreads below that illustrate a little story of the products use and defines its scale. When i get chance over the next few days ill compile a moodboard type spread, a small illustration of a pram rolling down a hill and i think i will redo the “product shots” as they are too dark and not defined enough. Anyways i will update the issuu file when all that is done. Thanks again michael and bepster for the advice.
Looks good, also show it on the product, so you can make it a super caveman level presentation.
thanks michael for replying, ill have a bash at sticking it on a pram in a few days time. Im currently working on a sequencer thing, a musical device and refining this project and i want to get them all finished in 12 days time so ill reply with the updates before then!!
have a good weekend everybody, adios
yes, the illustrations look good.
They are just not in order. It read as 2,3,1
Well ive tried to compile the other information and spreads into the booklet and its gone ok. Iâ€™ve added a spread of some prams that i picture the lever being fitted. I tried to do a visual cartoon of the problem but it wasnâ€™t that good so instead i inserted a short sentence to hopefully function in the same manner. I photoshoped the lever onto a pram and its turned out “ish”, the page size and proportions i choose to do the booklet in originally didnâ€™t really help, but it shows scale, position fairly well.
Overall i personally feel its improved over what it was due to your guys help and ive defiantly learnt a few things to incorporate into my future projects. I think ill leave this project to rest at this point as view it as a piece of work to learn from and progress from.
Here’s the new version; Brake Lever by Robert bb - Issuu
Thanks again bepster and michael, and if anyone else has anything to say about it, whether it be the format or the design, good or bad feel free to voice your opinions as its all beneficial.
edit//i hope the link works, its been problematic.
I think it’s really good.
For a project like this, you look is perfect. I was regretting my “boring” comment from earlier a little bit since the most important thing in a presentation for a product like this is that is conveys security. That is well thought out and clean.
again, good job and your illustrations really help.
You think you got a chance to maybe prototype it? You could maybe mill it or 3d print it. That would totally put it over the top.
Very nice booklet!
My only comment would be to see if there is a way to edit the number of pages down. A lot of pages to explain this. But again, overall, this is excellent. I personally love you sketches. They have a great “old school” feel. And those hand diagrams came out perfect!
Michael, I can appreciate the too many pages thing. I think itâ€™s a mix of me wanting to produce a full record of the project for me to look back on and my choice of page proportions. Whilst I think the format is really good for the iterations bit and some of the sketching concept pages its really bad for having any area of extended text or build up of information without looking stuffed and bloated I feel. If I was to start the booklet again I think I might go for a 210x140 page or even a square 210x210 to give me more room.
no need to regret the boring comment ben, in hindsight i think its perfectly justified. I think as a booklet it was, and in some sections still is, a bit too “rolling along”, no edges to engage the viewer.
In terms of a prototype, I donâ€™t really have access to resources remotely capable without spending serious money but also in honesty the design isnâ€™t worth it. At this point its still a concept but if i took it any further i would have to get blunt about the fact that commercially i think it would be too expensive to manufacture for the market in its current form. That insert is a serious bit of tooling, casting and muddle of tolerances. I do have a few new ideas and solutions for the product that have come to me since I finished the booklet originally that are drastically different and if the intern hunt doesnâ€™t go too well this time round I might redesign the whole thing again. Though in fairness if the hunt doesnâ€™t go too well itâ€™ll be over a year of hunting and I might just leave the id career thing be and follow the footsteps of men like William Morris and Alfred Dunhill and become a designer maker/brand. We shall see, Iâ€™ve still got options and most importantly ideas.
I was a bit nervous about putting the work out for all to see but im glad I did, its been really worthwhile.
anyways, thanks for your kind words guys, have fun, adios
Love the whole Dad slipping on a banana peel and the stroller rolling into a pit of crocodiles! Adds some nice personality to what could be a pretty cut and dry project.
I think a good add could be to even do some sort of PS image on the first page with a croc eating a baby or a stroller perched precariously close to a croc pit for a good hit of “gotcha” and memorable effect. You’ve got enough solid work there that I think it could come off as strong, and not overshadow/diminish any of the content. It’s one of those things that can go a long way, as one co-worker says to the other “hey, you see that portfolio with a croc eating a baby?!”… and you’re in.
Overall, great work great sketches and nice process. There are a lot of pages, but if it’s only going to live digitally it’s not really an issue as it’s easy to click the “next button”. They layout works for me to give a sort of brief overview, though with so many pages people may not read any text but just give it a flip through as I did. If you want people to read and get more in depth less pages could be better.
Hi Richard, thanks for replying.
Ive been thinking what yourself and Michael have written and I think that it might be a good idea to produce some posters/presentation boards to quickly introduce and educate the viewer about the idea and include some more memorable/flashy artwork. That would hopefully take the pressure off the booklet to be precise and leave it to act as a back-story. I sadly donâ€™t have the manhood to publish a pic of a croc eating a baby, but I like the idea of a pram perched on the edge of danger. I have an image in my mind that would work. Like I mentioned earlier im currently working on other things but if I manage to get an interview or the like ill bash them out as the project is one of my stronger.
Anyways, I really appreciate you guys taking the time to reply. Have fun, adios