Haha I love this description! 
I like the idea of a flexible pull handle. We could use the tactile feedback and make it squishy in the direction that it is not meant to be used, signalling that it doesn’t work, and solid in the direction that it is meant to be used, signalling that it does work.
Someone commented on my first concept above that they would call it ‘pavlov’s handle’ for the forced affordance. Maybe the handle could drop a positive reward each time it is used the correct way, with no reward when used incorrectly. Will sketch it up.