Hi Melissa, I took a look, and after a quick skim of the hard copy I would say you need to improve your sketching skills. I would maybe even consider removing that last sketchbook page, as it is your weakest work in your portfolio. Try and work on your linework and also add volume to the shapes, it’ll help pull out your sketches a lot and allow you to communicate your great ideas more easily.
Another thing I would mention is, tell the story. Maybe if you haven’t done so, refer to the Portfolio Handbook that was put out by some students, (here http://www.portfoliohandbook.com/. Take a read through it and see how you can improve from that. I think I can’t fully appreciate all the hard work you’ve put into these projects because I don’t see a clearly defined need for these projects. I know this part is tough, but if you can come up with one slide near the beginning of the project that identifies the current weakness and how your project is going to make it better people can really appreciate all the work you’ve done. The easier you can make it for potential employers to grasp the need, how you solved it, and the thought process along the way the better it is for you I think.
Your layout is great!! I really like the way you have laid out these projects, nice and clean, simple, and great use of white space. Good job on that.
So keep up the good work, practice those sketches, and good luck!